Quote of the Day (2014-08-31)

Jim Hacker: "The trouble with Brussels is not internationalism, it is too much bureaucracy."

Sir Humphrey: "But the bureaucracy is a consequence of the internationalism. Why else would there be an English Commissioner with a French Director-General immediately below him, and an Italian Chef-du-Division reporting to the Frenchman and so on down the line."

Jim Hacker: "Oh, I agree."

Sir Humphrey: "It is like the Tower of Babel."

Jim Hacker: "I agree."

Sir Humphrey: "No, it's even worse, it is like the United Nations."

Jim Hacker: "I agree."

Bernard Woolley: "Then perhaps, if I may interject, you are in fact in agreement."

Jim Hacker & Sir Humphrey: "No we're not!"

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2014-08-30)

I soiled my armor I was so scared!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2014-08-29)

Randal Graves: Which did you like better? "Jedi" or "The Empire Strikes Back"?

Dante Hicks: "Empire".

Randal Graves: Blasphemy.

Dante Hicks: "Empire" had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets.

Source: Clerks

Quote of the Day (2014-08-28)

Olive Penderghast: Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.

Source: Easy A

Quote of the Day (2014-08-27)

Bren: Well, honey, doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream...

Source: Juno

Quote of the Day (2014-08-26)

Bernard Woolley (on the phone): "Yes, we will want simultaneous translators. ... No, not when the PM meets the leaders of the English speaking nations. ... Yes, the English speaking nations can be said to include the United States. With a certain generosity of spirit."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2014-08-25)

Dot: I'm sure you have the life insurance squared away?

Ed McDonnough: Have we done that honey? We gotta do that honey!

Dot: You gotta do that HI! Ed's got her hands full with this little angel.

H.I.: Yes, ma'am.

Dot: What would Ed and little angel do if a truck came along and splattered your brains all over the interstate?

Ed McDonnough: Yeah honey! What if you get run over?

Dot: Or carried off by a twister?

Source: Raising Arizona

Quote of the Day (2014-08-24)

Bart: The Constitution? I'm pretty sure the Patriot Act killed it to ensure our freedoms.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2014-08-23)

Steve: I lied. Um... All that stuff I said about being a crack head? It just helps me sell magazines. I'm actually an unemployed... software engineer.

Peter Gibbons: You're a software engineer?

Steve: Yup.

[sighs]

Samir: Things, uh... it must be very rough for you.

Steve: Actually man, I make more money selling magazine subscriptions, than I ever did at Intertrode!

Source: Office Space

Quote of the Day (2014-08-22)

Harry Burns: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.

Sally Albright: Which one am I?

Harry Burns: You're the worst kind. You're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2014-08-21)

Where's your Christmas spirit? An eye for an eye.

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2014-08-20)

Rainer Wolfcastle: [singing] Mein bratwurst has a first name, it's F-R-I-T-Z / Mein bratwurst has a second name, it's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-F-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2014-08-19)

Martin: Half your listening audience hears voices already, and the other half talks to themselves! If you don't show up, who's going to notice?

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2014-08-18)

Edmund Edwards: She's been through hell, and we're her family. So in this crisis, we have to support her.

Rose Schwartz: Yeah.

Edmund Edwards: We have to love her.

Rose Schwartz: Mmm.

Edmund Edwards: We have to care about her.

Rose Schwartz: Mmm.

Edmund Edwards: And we have to milk it for every drop of publicity we can get.

Source: Soapdish

Quote of the Day (2014-08-17)

What also floats in water?

VILLAGER #1: Bread!

VILLAGER #2: Apples!

VILLAGER #3: Very small rocks!

VILLAGER #1: Cider!

VILLAGER #2: Great gravy!

VILLAGER #1: Cherries!

VILLAGER #2: Mud!

VILLAGER #3: Churches -- churches!

VILLAGER #2: Lead -- lead!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2014-08-16)

Joey Naylor: Dad, why is the American government the best government?

Nick Naylor: Because of our endless appeals system.

Source: Thank You For Smoking

Quote of the Day (2014-08-15)

Rose Schwartz: Actors don't like to play coma. They feel it limits their range.

Source: Soapdish

Quote of the Day (2014-08-14)

Kramer: "Karate. It's a lifetime pursuit of balance and harmony."

Jerry: "But with punching and kicking."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2014-08-13)

Here's a riddle for you. There's 200 million people in America. A hundred million of them are men. They lose four socks a year, conservatively. I lose ten myself. That's 400 million missing socks. Missing forever. Where are they? Nobody ever sees them again. You'd think you'd run into one of them every once in a while.

Source: Heartburn

Quote of the Day (2014-08-12)

Narrator: Do you want me to deprioritize my current reports until you advise me of a status upgrade?

Richard Chesler: Yes. Make these your primary action items.

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2014-08-11)

Homer: Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2014-08-10)

Niles: That bit of inspired lunacy you heard before the commercial was just a little docudrama Frasier and I put together on the dangers of over-medication. Bravo, Frasier, for so brilliantly demonstrating why they call it "dope."

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2014-08-07)

Mac MacGuff: Thanks for having me and my irresponsible child over your house.

Source: Juno

Quote of the Day (2014-08-06)

Welcome gentle Sir knight, welcome to the Castle Anthrax.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2014-08-05)

Marty DiBergi: David St. Hubbins... I must admit I've never heard anybody with that name.

David St. Hubbins: It's an unusual name, well, he was an unusual saint, he's not a very well known saint.

Marty DiBergi: Oh, there actually is, uh... there was a Saint Hubbins?

David St. Hubbins: That's right, yes.

Marty DiBergi: What was he the saint of?

David St. Hubbins: He was the patron saint of quality footwear.

Source: This is Spinal Tap

Quote of the Day (2014-08-04)

What is your favorite color? Blue. No. AAAAHHHHH!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2014-08-03)

Inigo Montoya: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Count Rugen: Stop saying that!

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2014-08-02)

Margaret Lord: Are you one of the musicians?

Macaulay Connor: No!

Margaret Lord: Oh of course, you're Junius's friend. Only you're not. Do you have any violin strings?

Macaulay Connor: [digs in his pocket] I have an aspirin. Will that work?

Margaret Lord: I don't think so! It's for a violin. Oh well, no matter!

Source: The Philadelphia Story

Quote of the Day (2014-08-01)

I've had worse.

Source: Holy Grail